Less internet = happier mom

As many of you can probably tell, I get a little passionate from time to time about a few issues.  It's fine to be passionate, at least in my mind.  But, sometimes I let my passion slide over into judgement.  I don't really like that about myself.  I've really been struggling for a few months now to find a way to still feel passionate about things that feel right or wrong to me without slipping into "that mom" that I don't want to be.  After some prayer, some thinking, and some good conversations, I feel that I'm getting closer to where I want to be.  But if I were to list the one single thing that has made the biggest difference it would be spending less time online.

I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with being online.  I think a lot of good things come from the internet and I definitely still enjoy me some Facebook and blogging time.  But I have found that spending less time reading other people's inflamed blog posts or status updates helps me to feel a little less inflamed.  Perhaps reading about other people's passions (whether they align with mine or not) just throws flames on my smouldering  embers.  Or perhaps I just get to live in my own little world where I don't know what other people are doing as much, so I can live more comfortably without worrying that I'm being judged.  Or, really, maybe just blogging less means that I don't structure arguments in my head as much.  Whatever it is, I just feel a lot better about it.

Now, don't get me wrong, I still feel a lot of passion about things.  Just today I commented on and concurred with a friend's anti-Babywise Facebook status with gusto.  But instead of feeling a huge vindictive surge against everyone and anything that upholds said book, I tried to talk about my feelings regarding the ideas in said book without passing judgement on those who have chosen to follow it.  I hope I was successful in my intentions.

In any case, I've really found that less internet = less judgemental = happier mom.  What this probably means in practical terms for this blog is that I'll be posting less.  But for now, that just feels like the right thing for me.

Whether it's internet, TV, or something else, do you find that you have things that affect your mood as a mom (or dad)?

Getting unplugged and tuned in

We've had a few problems with electronics in our home recently. My personal laptop is having major problems connecting to the internet, Brennan's old laptop is a dinosaur waiting to kill over and is currently donning a space bar that refuses to work half of the time, and I mistakenly let Hyrum play with our cell phone the other day and later found it in a pool of water. Ugh. One thing after another. (P.S. Tried putting it in rice with minimal success...any other ideas?)

But, there is a very large silver lining in all of that--I haven't been online as much lately and when I am, it's with a purpose. I don't think there's anything wrong with being on Facebook, cruising blogs, or hitting the refresh button in Gmail over and over and over...and over again. However, I've definitely found myself in a little bit of a quandary: I never seemed to be getting anything done. The house was generally messier than I would like, the dinners less nutritious and less delicious than intended, and all of those craft projects I had were lying idly by. But by golly, I knew what was happening with that second cousin's best friend in Bangkok.

Obviously I'm still online--publishing this blog post has proven that. But after the last week and a half of being a little more unplugged, I find myself being much more purposeful while perusing the internet. I have a few blogs I really like to follow, I check my email, I read through my Facebook newsfeed and then jump offline and spend time doing something else. It's amazing what I can get done when my attention isn't divided between the babe and the wedding pictures posted on Facebook, the soup I was trying to cook on the stove and the random blog I just came across, and that load of laundry that never seems to get folded and a NY Times article published 5 months ago.

In any case, I think I like this new life. I like what it does to me as a mom, a wife, a homemaker, and an individual. It helps me to realize that my online life is just that--its own life. It's fine for it to come out and play from time to time but perhaps my online life can become more of an acquaintance than a hands-all-over-each-other romantic relationship.

Do you find there are things in your life that are bringing you down or distracting you from things you find more important? How do you deal with those things?

Teaching independence

I've made good friends with a couple of women here in Calgary. One of them is my upstairs neighbor who also has a baby boy who's about 2 months older than Hyrum. We got chatting yesterday about independence while we were on our walk. She also has her son in her room. She recently moved him from their bed to a mattress on the floor and has been having a lot of success with that. But a few friends were really pushing her to not give up on the crib. She decided it wasn't worth it for her. But then there's all that talk about independence. So, we got to thinking, how do you teach it and how do you gain it?

Lots of people talk about instilling independence in your children--leaving them to play by themselves or having a separate sleeping space. But, here are my personal thoughts on independence---it can't be pushed. I personally don't think it's independence if there wasn't any choice involved in it. It's just the way life is. So, how do you encourage without forcing?

I thought of ways that my parents taught me independence. Since my memory doesn't serve me very well in infanthood, I think mostly about my teenage years. Partially from tight finances and partially from wanting to teach me responsibility, my parents told me that if I wanted things--new school clothes, a driver's license, insurance, etc.--then I needed to have a job. Thus began a great career at Little Caesar's Pizza (har har). My parents also had me pay for my own college education. There were a few times when they would spot me $20 here or there, but for the most part, I payed for it (or at least mortgaged my future...)

But since I don't have a teenager, I have an infant, I wonder what sorts of ways I can help encourage independence and responsibility at a young age. One of the ways we've come up with is letting him feed himself. If he doesn't want to eat, he doesn't have to. If he wants to, we provide the food but he does the feeding. My plan for separate sleeping spaces is that when he wants it, we'll provide the means and some gentle encouragement to stay in his own bed.

What are some ways you've found to encourage independence in your youngsters?

Your favorite physical characteristic

You know when you look at your kiddo and there's just something so ridiculously cute about them, you can't even hold it in? Their cheeks, their smile, their little wrist rolls...gah! so cute!!! I love how mommies know and love little things about their kiddos that no one else would even notice. For me, I love Hyrum's bone structure around his eyes. Weird? Maybe. But for some reason it's so adorable to me, so perfect. I think a lot of it has to do with it being so visible while he's nursing. If I look down and look into his eyes, I just notice how perfect his little face structure is.

What about you? What is your favorite physical characteristic of your kid(s)?

Mothers of two or more

How do you do it!?! Some days I feel like I've got a pretty good groove down. My house is clean, the kid is fed, the morning walk happened...but I still feel like it took all day to get there!!! (Note that is said SOME days). This isn't really a post about my thoughts, I'm just looking for feedback. Here's a hip-hip-hooray for mothers of two or more. I'm in awe of you.