The Happiest Mom Challenge: Have a Plan

How did your month of "taking the easy way out" go?  I know for me I actually found it pretty liberating.  Here are some of the ways that I took the easy way out this month:

• I scaled back my advent calendar. I had all of these high hopes of sewing an advent calendar with little pockets to hold strips of paper for an activity to do every day.  And then I decided that was too much work and decided to just make little envelopes out of wrapping paper and wrote on the inside of them.  SO much easier.
• I decided to only tackle a chore or two a day.  Every time I have these high hopes of cleaning the entire house at once, I just end up disappointed.  As long as the laundry, dishes, and perhaps another task for the day are accomplished, then I think I'm doing pretty well!
• I finally started planning leftovers into our meal schedule. For the past few months, I've been making our meal calendar with a new meal (and usually a brand new recipe) every day.  And then it started to become a burden to get the leftovers gone. So, I just started making a little bit extra food for our meal and actually plan on having it be supper again the next day.  The variety has gone downhill a bit but our fridge (and my sanity) is thanking me.
• I gave up and made flip charts with all of the words for the songs in our Primary program. I had been working like crazy to help the children memorize the songs really well.  But on the day of, I realized they still weren't quite there yet. I figured it was more important that the parents could hear the words and that the kids felt confident than it was to show off their memorization skills.
• I chose "Have a Plan" for this month's The Happiest Mom challenge. 

You see, Brennan and I have just started working through Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover.  And well, if there's anything that needs a plan, it's finances.  We've been working pretty hard for the past couple weeks and so I decided that I'd might as well make it my challenge for this month--have a plan.

I'm a dreamer. I frequently think about how I want things to turn out--my kids, my body, my marriage, my finances, how I spend my time, etc.  But getting those dreams to happen requires planning and, more importantly, follow-through.  I would even say that I'm an "okay" planner.  Follow through...not so much.  I've discovered that what I really need to have a plan, and a good plan at that, is one that works well for me.   That's where this whole Dave Ramsey thing came in.  A friend lent us the book, it made sense, and it had a plan, right there, for me, that I know works. Ah-ha!

Obviously "have a plan" doesn't just pertain to finances.  Here are some of the other areas of "have a plan" that I'm hoping to adopt more firmly into my life this month.

• compile and use a family binder
• work through some of my "craft debt"
• find a way to make daily scripture study and daily exercise a more consistent part of my life
• get me, and Hyrum, onto a more consistent daily routine

Will you join me on my adventure?  Do you have plans, or are you in need of a plan?  What are some of the areas of "have a plan" that you want to work on this month?

Happy planning!

The Happiest Mom Challenge: Take the Easy Way Out

"Being a happy mom is all about being yourself, not what anyone else thinks you should be, and relaxing enough to enjoy your kids and the rest of your life without too much second-guessing...move past the 'shoulds' and guilt, and be the kind of mother you want to be." (Francis 23)

I mentioned in my last post that I planned to blog my way through my "The Happiest Mom" challenge.  My plan is to pick one of the secrets to happy motherhood in Meagan Francis's book and find ways to implement it each month.  I won't necessarily go in order, but for the first month I thought I would start with her first secret--take the easy way out.

Now, you're hopefully better at this than me, but when I'm in a group of people (especially women, and above all, other moms), I start to compare myself to them.  Suzie makes all of her noodles from scratch, Shari hasn't had sugar in 12 years, Betsy hand makes all of her children's clothes, and Molly never, ever seems to be frazzled.  Meanwhile, I sit in my corner thinking about how it has never even occurred to me to make my own noodles, I think I would die without at least a little bit of sugar in my life, I stare at my kiddo's second-hand "made in China" T-shirt, and I'm not sure I showered this morning, and I definitely don't have any make-up on.

Anyone else ever feel like that?  Here's hoping so and hoping not at the same time.  In any case, I definitely find myself comparing, feeling overwhelmed, and sometimes even  a bit lonely in my apparent "loser Mom" status.

But then I step back and realize that 1) I can't do everything and 2) I don't even want to do all of those things.  I just want to know that I'm a good mom.  You would think by now I would just accept the fact that I'm not that bad and move on.  But, you know, I get feeling a bit insecure from time to time.

For example, the last couple of weeks due to teething, vacation, and heaven knows what else, I have had one very nightwaking baby.  I don't think there has ever been a time in his life when he has woken up this much.  Normally our co-sleeping situation works just fine and everyone is able to get a good night's sleep, but not these past few weeks.  And it's really taken a toll on me emotionally.

In a moment of frustration and fatigue, I shared this experience with a few ladies from church.  A couple of them were remarkably sympathetic and gave me a few tips for things that worked for them.  Others were a little more forceful in their comments and I just walked away feeling like a terrible mother.  I know they meant well but I just didn't feel comfortable with their suggestions and most of all, I just felt like a terrible mom.  When I came home, I was near tears as I  recounted the details of my conversation to Brennan.  For some reason, even though I feel that we've made well-informed and thoughtful decisions regarding our family's sleep situation, I started doubting myself.  Not because I thought we had done something wrong, but because I began to worry that we took "the easy way out"--like that was a bad thing--and now I was paying for it.

As we talked through some of our options Brennan turned to me and he said, "you know, one of the signs that you're a good mom is that you've really thought about this and you really care about it."  After some thought (and a nap!) I realized that here was the thing that was most important: everyone got the sleep they needed.  It didn't really matter what that looked like and it didn't matter if it was conventional.  It didn't matter if I took a nap instead of scrubbing the cupboards.  It didn't matter if Hyrum took a nap in my arms while I read a book instead of in his crib.  It didn't matter if I went to bed earlier rather than watching (yet another) episode of Arrested Development.

And so here I am, taking the easy way out.  And that's okay.  Nobody asked me to be Superwoman, they just asked me to be Mom.  I can be Mom with my store-bought noodles or with homemade ones.  I can be Mom if my kiddo sleeps all night in the next room or right beside me.  I can be Mom with my not-so-designer clothes and half-done make-up.

Now, as I write this, I don't think the answer is to take "the easy way out" on everything--just put some thought into the things you do that 1) don't make you happy and 2) don't really seem to be benefiting you, your family, or your children.  Even though disposables might be easier than cloth, using cloth diapers makes me happy and it helps my family financially.  I really like cooking dinner at home every night and it's generally healthier (and much cheaper) than eating out.  But I'm fine buying canned beans rather than soaking dried ones, and I'm fine using disposable wipes rather than cloth ones (though I tried that bandwagon...just wasn't for me).  I think we just need to find where to draw the line so that life as a mom (and in general) is, well, happy!

This month I'm going to look for ways that I can move past the guilt, the 'shoulds,' and take the easy way out.  Anyone want to join me in this challenge?  Are there things that you do "the easy way" that help to make you happy?  I'd love to hear!