Luckily, I still get to do fun things from time to time but it's still not quite how I imagined it. Instead I'm constantly trying to find some study, some evidence that what I'm doing is right. Bah! It's like writing a thesis over and over again. Maybe I need to go back to school so I have something else to write about. My husband would probably refuse though. He made me promise to be done with school...at least until we were done paying for the four combined degrees we just finished.
Something dangerous happens in graduate school--suddenly your opinion matters. Suddenly you're writing for conferences and sending your papers to well-known professionals in your field. Suddenly you're the one with answers and a "specialty" that others don't have. Suddenly YOU'RE the invited guest to teach a lecture in a class. So, now that I don't have an audience for my rantings about Lacquer's one-sex theory or bell hooks' black-feminist arguments I turn to what I feel passionate about now--mommying. And now, I write and read about THAT all the time. I absolutely love it and hate it at the same time. Someone save me from myself!
Alright Amy. Here's the thing. Just tell yourself you are awesome and that you are the best mom Hyrum will ever have (I seriously do this, so don't think I'm crazy). Now it doesn't matter if you are 'right' or not. Your the best he's got and, by george, you are good enough. Now you are free to go do fun things instead of pouring over studies about parenting because let's face it, they were probably all written by hacks anyway. :D
ReplyDeleteEh, I'm the same way, and the way I figure it at least my brain isn't atrophying. Sometimes my husband and his family will make fun of me for it, but it's all actually INTERESTING to me, and it's a wonderful escape from scraping poop off Clara's bum. :) Also, we should skype sometime this morning before I go to AK...
ReplyDeletethe good thing about parenting is that you can do what you think is right & don't have to follow a program! you can read studies & ignore most of them, pick the good pieces out of the others, apply what you want, and forget the rest. and then forget more, because you'll learn what's best for hyrum whether it comes from a study or not! babies are good at leading us to what they need most of the time. they need structure and routine, but even those are flexible depending on the child. as long as you love them, meet their needs, and love them, you really can't go wrong. i think you should find something non-baby to research- every mom needs to think about something than her own kids once in a while!
ReplyDeleteBut raising a child can be like writing a paper in some ways. It's a topic of great interest to you, you do lots of research, even experimenting when necessary, and in the end you take what you think is good from each source and add your own stuff and end up with a final product, which you present to the world each day. And you can do it over and over with each child, since they all have differences and you'll need to rewrite your parenting manual.
ReplyDeleteDon't worry, after a while you won't have to do as much reading and you'll find other ways to occupy your time.
More degrees than babies... And noses...
ReplyDelete