Wednesday, November 30, 2011

The Happiest Mom Challenge: Have a Plan

How did your month of "taking the easy way out" go?  I know for me I actually found it pretty liberating.  Here are some of the ways that I took the easy way out this month:

  • I scaled back my advent calendar. I had all of these high hopes of sewing an advent calendar with little pockets to hold strips of paper for an activity to do every day.  And then I decided that was too much work and decided to just make little envelopes out of wrapping paper and wrote on the inside of them.  SO much easier.
  • I decided to only tackle a chore or two a day.  Every time I have these high hopes of cleaning the entire house at once, I just end up disappointed.  As long as the laundry, dishes, and perhaps another task for the day are accomplished, then I think I'm doing pretty well!
  • I finally started planning leftovers into our meal schedule. For the past few months, I've been making our meal calendar with a new meal (and usually a brand new recipe) every day.  And then it started to become a burden to get the leftovers gone. So, I just started making a little bit extra food for our meal and actually plan on having it be supper again the next day.  The variety has gone downhill a bit but our fridge (and my sanity) is thanking me.
  • I gave up and made flip charts with all of the words for the songs in our Primary program. I had been working like crazy to help the children memorize the songs really well.  But on the day of, I realized they still weren't quite there yet. I figured it was more important that the parents could hear the words and that the kids felt confident than it was to show off their memorization skills.
  • I chose "Have a Plan" for this month's The Happiest Mom challenge. 
You see, Brennan and I have just started working through Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover.  And well, if there's anything that needs a plan, it's finances.  We've been working pretty hard for the past couple weeks and so I decided that I'd might as well make it my challenge for this month--have a plan.

I'm a dreamer. I frequently think about how I want things to turn out--my kids, my body, my marriage, my finances, how I spend my time, etc.  But getting those dreams to happen requires planning and, more importantly, follow-through.  I would even say that I'm an "okay" planner.  Follow through...not so much.  I've discovered that what I really need to have a plan, and a good plan at that, is one that works well for me.   That's where this whole Dave Ramsey thing came in.  A friend lent us the book, it made sense, and it had a plan, right there, for me, that I know works. Ah-ha!

Obviously "have a plan" doesn't just pertain to finances.  Here are some of the other areas of "have a plan" that I'm hoping to adopt more firmly into my life this month.


  • compile and use a family binder
  • work through some of my "craft debt"
  • find a way to make daily scripture study and daily exercise a more consistent part of my life
  • get me, and Hyrum, onto a more consistent daily routine
Will you join me on my adventure?  Do you have plans, or are you in need of a plan?  What are some of the areas of "have a plan" that you want to work on this month?

Happy planning!

Monday, November 14, 2011

Breaking the mould of the label

I'm sure a lot of you have seen a lot of the I'm a Mormon videos on YouTube and mormon.org.  I think what I like the most about the videos (and what is surely the purpose behind the campaign), is that they show that there is no one way to be a Mormon.  Outside of basic doctrines, Mormons are about as different from one another as can be, and that's okay.  Or at least it should be.

It's no secret that I've built my Mom-denity around the philosophies of attachment parenting.  For the most part, I've gladly embraced the label.  But sometimes I find myself feeling a little anxious.   "Am I holding my baby enough?", "Is our breastfeeding relationship successful enough?", "Should I really enjoy night feedings more than a good night's sleep?", and other questions.

As I've been thinking more and more about my challenge to "take the easy way out," I realize that I've lost track of what my parenting philosophies really are.  I would say that I definitely still fit the bill of the "attachment parenting mama" but from time to time I seem to lose focus as to what attachment parenting is really all about--making choices that bring you closer to your children so you will know how to be the best parent possible for your individual child(ren).  

I love babywearing and bedsharing, breastfeeding and bonding.  But maybe it's okay for me to say, "okay, bedsharing was great! Now it's not working for us any more."  Or, "babywearing is fantastic but right now, I'd prefer we go for a walk with the stroller rather than the carrier," or whatnot.

Whether you're an AP mama or whatever, it's good to remember that we can be who we are, strive to become better and better, and don't have to fit some pre-defined label as to what that should be.  Maybe that's just "taking the easy way out," but I'm okay with that.

Saturday, November 5, 2011

Sleep...more than training.

I'm sure a lot of you have seen a lot of the I'm a Mormon videos on YouTube and mormon.org.  I think what I like the most about the videos (and what is surely the purpose behind the campaign), is that they show that there is no one way to be a Mormon.  Outside of basic doctrines, Mormons are about as different from one another as can be, and that's okay.  Or at least it should be.

It's no secret that I've built my Mom-denity around the philosophies of attachment parenting.  For the most part, I've gladly embraced the label.  But sometimes I find myself feeling a little anxious.   "Am I holding my baby enough?", "Is our breastfeeding relationship successful enough?", "Should I really enjoy night feedings more than a good night's sleep?", and other questions.

As I've been thinking more and more about my challenge to "take the easy way out," I realize that I've lost track of what my parenting philosophies really are.  I would say that I definitely still fit the bill of the "attachment parenting mama" but from time to time I seem to lose focus as to what attachment parenting is really all about--making choices that bring you closer to your children so you will know how to be the best parent possible for your individual child(ren).  

I love babywearing and bedsharing, breastfeeding and bonding.  But maybe it's okay for me to say, "okay, bedsharing was great! Now it's not working for us any more."  Or, "babywearing is fantastic but right now, I'd prefer we go for a walk with the stroller rather than the carrier," or whatnot.

Whether you're an AP mama or whatever, it's good to remember that we can be who we are, strive to become better and better, and don't have to fit some pre-defined label as to what that should be.  Maybe that's just "taking the easy way out," but I'm okay with that.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Oh child, please sleep!

Hyrum's sleep (or lack thereof) has become a bit of an obsession for me these past few weeks.  I've waffled back and forth about what to do.  One moment all I want to do is hold him and show him that I'm here for him in what is clearly a very hard time for him (sleep regression, teething, a cold--all at once, bleh!) and sometimes I find myself frustrated so I just need five minutes away to collect myself and end up ignoring my little guy's cries for that time.  Oh what to do, what to do.

Yeah, I still don't have the answer but here are a few questions/thoughts I keep having:

1) A baby cannot manipulate.  It's impossible in the first year of life so at least, no matter what I do, I can remember that this isn't a character flaw or anything.  I haven't screwed him up and turned him into a pint-sized sociopath.
2) Mommies are important too.  This isn't a one-way relationship so it's alright for me to accept help, let my house be a little messy for a while, or even sleep-train if it comes down to that.  I'm not selfish for needing some "me" time or needing sleep.
3) Whatever I choose to do, I want to look back on this period of my life without a lot of guilt and without regret.
4) I want to feel close to my little one.  Perhaps I need to up the cuddling, holding, babywearing, etc.
5) This really will end some day.  No matter what I choose to do, some day my baby will sleep through the night.  It really will happen.  In fact, there may be a day when I wish I could get him OUT of bed!
6) At the end of the day there is one person, and one person only, that I can control--me.  I can't force my kid to sleep but I can control how I react to it.  That being said, 4am me is not the same as 4pm me.  Just sayin'.

I know I'm not alone out there.  What have some of you mamas done/told yourself during rough patches?

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Giving me (or rather, YOU) a break

In my challenge to "take the easy way out," I've thought a lot about my own insecurities as a mom.  That feeling of judgement, that desire to be the best mom possible, and the pressure that comes along with it.  But here's someone else who needs a break--my fellow moms!  I have been a bit, shall we say, outspoken (?) about my dislike of controlled crying or "cry it out."  In reality, I still don't really love it.  But here's something--I think I've reached the breaking point for me and our current sleep situation and I, yes I, the hater of cry-it-out, have seriously considered it.  Thus far I think I've made it a whole five minutes before feeling terrible and going in to rescue my little guy.  I'm still not sure I'll actually be able to go through with it, but if nothing else I've learned a great lesson--Thou shalt not judge your fellow moms.

Through all of this I keep thinking about what in the world I'm supposed to learn from this situation.  I find myself doubting like crazy (one of the many problems of lack of sleep).  I want to be the best mom possible and in my quest I've perhaps gone to a bit of an extreme--not necessarily in my mothering but certainly in my treatment of my fellow mommies.

And so my friends, here's sending you the break you deserve.  May you know how wonderful of a mom you are.  May you also know that if you're looking for a break, here it is.  Way to go, Mom!  And sorry for any negative vibes you sensed from yours truly.