Hyrum's sleep (or lack thereof) has become a bit of an obsession for me these past few weeks. I've waffled back and forth about what to do. One moment all I want to do is hold him and show him that I'm here for him in what is clearly a very hard time for him (sleep regression, teething, a cold--all at once, bleh!) and sometimes I find myself frustrated so I just need five minutes away to collect myself and end up ignoring my little guy's cries for that time. Oh what to do, what to do.
Yeah, I still don't have the answer but here are a few questions/thoughts I keep having:
1) A baby cannot manipulate. It's impossible in the first year of life so at least, no matter what I do, I can remember that this isn't a character flaw or anything. I haven't screwed him up and turned him into a pint-sized sociopath.
2) Mommies are important too. This isn't a one-way relationship so it's alright for me to accept help, let my house be a little messy for a while, or even sleep-train if it comes down to that. I'm not selfish for needing some "me" time or needing sleep.
3) Whatever I choose to do, I want to look back on this period of my life without a lot of guilt and without regret.
4) I want to feel close to my little one. Perhaps I need to up the cuddling, holding, babywearing, etc.
5) This really will end some day. No matter what I choose to do, some day my baby will sleep through the night. It really will happen. In fact, there may be a day when I wish I could get him OUT of bed!
6) At the end of the day there is one person, and one person only, that I can control--me. I can't force my kid to sleep but I can control how I react to it. That being said, 4am me is not the same as 4pm me. Just sayin'.
I know I'm not alone out there. What have some of you mamas done/told yourself during rough patches?